What is She who is She – I wonder



This court is called to order:
The Counsel for the world may call his witnesses and begin his case


Thank you, Milord, On trial today is the accused.
Who has defied all norms and conventions and the laws of this noble human land,
She has refused to defend Herself and is therefore being tried in absentia,
I will now call upon the witnesses one by one to narrate their own incidents
which will be sufficient proof to convict the accused


I condemned Her, I defamed Her, I loved Her, I worshipped Her
When I defamed Her, they enjoyed it
But now when I love Her, no one listens to me
Please tell me what to do

I am bewildered
My dilemma is, why did people love me when I was nasty and cruel
And why do they denounce me now when I try to undo the wrong I have done

I am bewildered
Why did people encourage me when I told lies
My lies were always accepted as the truth and were applauded
But now no one listens to the Truth

I am bewildered
If a person says I am the Lord and you are my slaves
We worship him
But when someone says I love you and worship you and will be your servant forever
We call Her a hypocrite

I am bewildered
To the sinner She says, come into my arms and stay there until you know I am Ma
And I will give you rest and you will overcome your complexes
And emerge as a beautiful light but people suspect Her and call Her evil

I am bewildered
But the surprising part is that She works, slogs and toils for years for them
And when they go away they say She is no good

I am bewildered
Enemies come who criticize each other denounce each other and do each other down
And then they become everlasting friends and instead turn against Her

I am bewildered
They found Her a ‘contemptible chit of a girl’ whom they wanted to reform
But now they call Her Bhagwan and still do not listen to Her

I am bewildered
She finds a tiny space in everyone’s heart of which filth has become an integral part
She picks up a broom and cleans it out giving them peace and happiness without a doubt
But when they see Her smeared with their own dirt they throw Her out
Is She really the dirtiest of all?

I wonder
Her destiny gives Her granite dynamite rocks and stones
She knocks against them, chisels them, washes them with Her tears
And sends them out into the world as ‘murtis’
Do the murtis’ want to be worshipped? Is that why they turn against Her?

I wonder
The downtrodden and rejected came to her. She loved them and taught them all the arts of life
And established them in the world
Do they want to be recognized? Is that why they reject Her?

I wonder
Before the humble, She is the humblest. They think She is the dust of their feet
Before the proud, She is the proudest. Whom in vain they try to defeat
What is She?, Who is She?

I wonder
To a question She once answered thus Your “I” will thee destroy
And they in their vindictiveness changed the meaning that “Your” did imply
Accusing Ma that She had said I will thee destroy
The same little “I” destroys us all we have not the eyes to see
I wonder if you too can see what I really do perceive

I wonder
Mincing words She does not know and yet She is so gay
She talks of the deepest Gyan in jest and says that Sadhana is a play
If She can’t be serious She can’t a Sadhu be
In life She is so ordinary and with Her love is so free
How then can She the Enlightened One be

I wonder
The first two who called Her Mother, both were very dear
And She tried Her very best that they should eternally be near
The one who broke away was a coward and could not take the blame
Bountiful Love that Ma is, Her entreaties were in vain
Both of them gave Her up and left Her perhaps in pain
One of them blaming Her and the other to save Her own name
Now who is the culprit

I wonder
They hit Her and abused Her and She lay Her head at their feet
They emerged as better people. Is this Her defeat?

I wonder
With everyone crushing Her and surrounded by defame
How can She love and be so gay perhaps She has no name

I wonder
As a child She was a tomboy. In youth She was steel
Negative adjectives She collected so many. Does She even feel?

I wonder
Condemned by Her people rejected by the world
Tell me Milord: Does She have any worth?

I wonder
A woman once came to Her and said ‘Her husband had no heart’
Ma said – keep me as your servant and I will teach you your part
The same woman came again and said a child had gone astray
Ma took the child in Her arms and said I will not betray
And said, I will take the child away and her sins will I bear
And she will become spotless and fairer than the fair
Who else would their troubles share, only She could really dare
They relaxed and were happy and they went their way
When the thought of their reputation did make them sway
Because they were afraid that expose them She may
And so they accused Her of all their wrongs and all their sins at Her head they lay.
Is this Love? Is this Justice?

I wonder
She is condemned and rejected but has nothing to say
And never will until Her last day
People we kicked out, with them She made friends
And we in anger said ‘We will not enter Your abode’.
We will not see Your face and they became our friends
Yet afraid were we that She would betray our bitter words and angry frays
And our new found friends and friendships She would destroy
Can this be the cause why we reject Her?

I wonder
Why are we so contradictory? Is it because She is so ordinary
No, I think it is our Mind that left the Intellect behind
When we put Her under a microscope She disappears each time
What is She we ask ourselves?
We know Her, we don’t know Her. She is a stranger, She is our own.
And yet She eludes us. Is She ourselves?

I wonder
Foolish people come to Her .She out beats them in foolishness
Great Gyanis come to Her. She outshines them in Gyan
And She shows them She loves them both. But they both condemn Her
What is She? Who is She?

I wonder
They called Her egoistic. They called Her vain
They called Her proud to cause Her pain
The more names they called Her, The more She loved them
And the more they humbled Her, The more humble She became
Until they realized their efforts were in vain.
Did they realize?
Their house was breaking up. She came uninvited
And their home She united by taking away their misery and pain
Then they discovered She was insincere, for in their joys She did not appear
Was She insincere?

I wonder
When we are poor She lavishes on us innumerable gifts and kindnesses
When we are rich, She sends us out She must have a motive

I wonder
Now who is the sinner? She who defies conventions
And does not sit on a throne? Or we who go for succour
And endlessly do groan?


We are thoughtful, we are thinking. What should be Her fate?
We have already considered Her sins up to date
Should we execute, persecute? Should we Her crucify
We want to do something drastic to justify this lie
Since I am the judge I will say a prima facie case is ready
She should be condemned and rejected because the reason is very steady
She is not like us nor will She ever be Instead –
She is Absolute Truth, Absolute Love, Absolute Justice
And our brilliant minds cannot comprehend
Her Absolute greatness in Absolute Humility
And therefore, Gentlemen
Because this case is unprecedented
And never with such a trial have I been confronted
I am forced to act without much mercy, without much tact
And, therefore, with due apologies to the law of the land
I am compelled to convict Her as Truth does demand
By sentencing the accused I am very confused
And hence I my judgment give:
Everlasting imprisonment in everybody’s hearts
Must She live!

Case Dismissed

Descended from the Heavens
Or ascended from the core of me
I could not really then decide
What could the Phantom be!!
Through Her Eye, I could view
At least the path for me
A path of Beauty, a path of Love
A path so rich and sublime
Ma leaves her foot prints fair
On the sands of Time
Scientifically does Ma explain
What is mine, can be thine
Thank you enough – I never can
Embodied Soul of all sunshine
Revered Ma, my only Hope
I wish to end as only Thine.

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