Life and Living

Ma with Purnima and her parents

A child is born… blank… uninitiated… ignorant of any past or future, unaware even of who he or she is… but pre-programmed with a set of ‘genes’ from the parents and ancestors, and the legacy of latencies of past existence.

From day one, he starts gathering impressions – visual, audio, sensory – gradually registering favourable and unfavourable responses and what behaviour patterns can be reinforced for better results.

For parents and other adults, expectations start even before the birth of a child – right from the sex of the unborn child to what they would like the child to ‘become’ when he grows up.

They say the first 6 years of life comprise a period of maximum learning and development of the brain. Consequently, the child is bombarded with information and learning opportunities, so that he/she is better equipped to face the world on growing up. The poor child does not even get a chance to exercise personal choice as he is pushed from one tuition class to the other, from swimming lessons to dancing sessions to the sports field… all in order to ‘prepare’ him to face the world with confidence. The whole focus is on acquisition, success, achievement et al.

The result is a youth force that is committed to personal advancement… whatever it costs! The positive aspect of this zeal could be that the young people learn to sit/study/practice for long periods, as well as to sacrifice immediate pleasures for long term goals. In a broader perspective, they would make a success of whatever project or cause they choose to take up.

However, a negative fallout would be a generation of selfish young people who do whatever they do only for promoting their own interests. The high level of cut-throat competition could also lead to frustration for those who fail to make their mark. And an unhappy individual can take any extreme step in a fit of anger or depression – perpetrate fraud or commit suicide!

In such a scenario, what is most needed are the values and ethics that our Scriptures talk about. Just as a strong base is essential for a steady structure, if we are grounded in spirituality, whatever we do, wherever we go, whoever we interact with, we will do the right thing by all.

People nowadays are pushing themselves to the limit in order to get the maximum in the minimum amount of time. Young people think nothing of spending a few lacs to buy the latest automobile/apartment/gadget to make their life comfortable. But while this might improve the standard of living, it doesn’t contribute to a better quality of life… which is determined by the relationships we have nurtured, the love we share with others and the happiness we can spread.

Physical gratification gives us momentary joy but lasting happiness only comes from giving joy to others. A glass of water will wash away the taste of a five-star meal in an instant but a 5oo rupee note given to a person in need might buy provisions for his family for a week. While there is nothing wrong in doing well for oneself, it is important to remember that the pleasure derived from wealth and possessions lasts only till the first scratch on the brand new car and the first crack in the coveted dinner set.

For the young people of today, the meaning of concepts have changed. ‘Loving’ someone would mean buying expensive gifts or flowers for them and ‘service’ would be community service where one goes and helps out at a religious place or slum for a day. These are not values which become a part of their being and flow naturally towards others.

All wise people say that we must cease to identify ourselves with the body-self. If we calculate the time and money we spend in entertaining, pampering and embellishing this body, we will realise what a self-centered life we are leading. Our wealth and our body are best used as a means to help others. If we only realise it, when we do something for others, we are in fact gaining from the interaction because doing good makes us feel good. Wiping someone’s tears and alleviating others’ pain can give us a sense of peace and inner satisfaction.

And the best kind of help is when we anticipate another’s need and act in his/her best interests. We should not wait to be asked, just as we should not trumpet our munificence. This would be possible only when we subjugate our own desires and give precedence to others. The mark of a true human being is how humane one is in dealing with those in a dependent position. Like in any business or enterprise, success is measured not in terms of money alone but the amount of goodwill one has generated.

Real education, then, would mean not just excellence in various disciplines, but the values, culture and heritage of our scriptures and sages… and how well we practically implement this learning in life.

Come out at the top we must, not only in the classroom… but more essentially, in life and living! v

Life and Living

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