Friendship With Death

Dr J.K. Mehta (Papaji)

I had long cherished the desire and prayed to the Lord that I want to experience the process of death, and do not want a sudden death. The Lord has been kind enough to grant my prayer. This is the most beautiful period of my life to give me the experience of old age and death. I am very happy and pray to the Lord to permit me to carry the sanskars of this beautiful life to the next janam.

The physical body, with all its ailments, gives me a good experience of zara, vyadhi and mrityu before I die, so that I carry these beautiful experiences into my next janam. Repeated experiences of death are another asset to carry forward into the next birth.

Grant me, my Lord, Your blessings that I remember these experiences from the very beginning of my next life, so that I am able to rise above the mind and body and always stay at Thy Divine Feet.

“Ma! You have been continuously showering Your Grace on me, which has brought me today to this state of mind that I am very happy and enjoying my life as if sitting in heaven. I am able to give full attention to observe life at this stage. I used to be very much afraid of death till recently. I am surprised to see where that fear is gone today. It appears, and I pray it is so, that death is no longer a situation to be afraid of. All the time available now is devoted to cultivate friendship with death.”

Param Pujya Ma has brought me to this beautiful state of mind where I see the Lord as Sakshi (Witness) in my heart and my greatest happiness is to stay at His Feet, but unfortunately due to the antahkaran being full of adverse sanskaras, I cannot stay at these Lotus Feet for more than a fraction of time. My only desire at this time is to get my mind purified and that is my constant prayer to the Lord. The Lord is kind enough to show me the dirt in my mind in every situation and has very kindly permitted me to offer all these thoughts that arise from the unconscious sanskaras at His Feet for purification.

Ma, my Sadguru, says that this is the only way of self-purification. I feel this is the way to surrender the ego, born out of attachment to the mind and the body. Pavankar Parmeshwar, in the form of Sadguru Ma, is purifying my mind in this way.

I do not know how much more time is left at my disposal, but this beautiful process continues uninterrupted, and with the passage of every moment I feel nearer to death. Death, today, looks to me to be my best friend who will unite me with my Lord. I have failed miserably with my own stupid efforts to rise above attachment to the mind and the body, which are but a cloud separating me from the Lord in my heart.

When Ma came in my life fifty years ago, the proud, arrogant, egoistic me, thinking myself to be a connoisseur of the Scriptures, thought Ma to be absolutely ignorant of the Scriptures. I started giving ‘gyan’ based on the Bhagavad Gita to the One whom I recognized five years later as the living embodiment of the Gita since Her childhood.

Since then I have been sitting at Her feet to mould my life according to the Scriptures. Thinking myself to be an enlightened soul, I never knew that my mind was full of extreme selfishness. Ma never once pointed out any of my extremely selfish traits. She was the Egoless One, whom I met soon after the egoless Ramana Maharishi, at whose feet I had the grace to sit for eight years. Today I realize that Ma was the egoless Ramana who came again in my life to redeem me of my sins.

At the age of nearly ninety, I am a very happy and relaxed man today. It is all the Grace of Ma, my Sadguru, who has been cleansing me of all the dirt accumulated as sanskars in the antahkaran. She has brought me out of the deep pit of sin without a single pin-prick. The process of purification still continues.

Param Pujya Ma has given me another most beautiful experience. By Her Grace, I have come to see that my trait of criticizing, disliking and rejecting people as the cause of my unhappiness was not only wrong but sinful. She made me realize that people, along with their traits and habits are created by the Lord in order to purify me of my negative tendencies. I found that the vehemence with which I criticized people and talked ill of them were, in fact, my own traits hidden within, which I projected on them. All this negativity within me is slowly being cleansed by my Sadguru.

I am at peace today because of Her.

Friendship With Death

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