What is She who is She

Deepak Dayal


 

ma

Judge:

This court is called to order:

The Counsel for the world may call his witnesses and begin his case

Counsel:

Thank you, Milord, On trial today is the accused.

Who has defied all norms and conventions and the laws of this noble human land,

She has refused to defend Herself and is therefore being tried in absentia,

I will now call upon the witnesses one by one to narrate their own incidents

which will be sufficient proof to convict the accused

Witnesses:

I condemned Her, I defamed Her, I loved Her, I worshipped Her

When I defamed Her, they enjoyed it

But now when I love Her, no one listens to me

Please tell me what to do

I am bewildered

My dilemma is, why did people love me when I was nasty and cruel

And why do they denounce me now when I try to undo the wrong I have done

I am bewildered

Why did people encourage me when I told lies

My lies were always accepted as the truth and were applauded

But now no one listens to the Truth

I am bewildered

If a person says I am the Lord and you are my slaves

We worship him

But when someone says I love you and worship you and will be your servant forever

We call Her a hypocrite

I am bewildered

To the sinner She says, come into my arms and stay there until you know I am Ma

And I will give you rest and you will overcome your complexes

And emerge as a beautiful light but people suspect Her and call Her evil

I am bewildered

But the surprising part is that She works, slogs and toils for years for them

And when they go away they say She is no good

I am bewildered

Enemies come who criticize each other denounce each other and do each other down

And then they become everlasting friends and instead turn against Her

I am bewildered

They found Her a ‘contemptible chit of a girl’ whom they wanted to reform

But now they call Her Bhagwan and still do not listen to Her

I am bewildered

She finds a tiny space in everyone’s heart of which filth has become an integral part

She picks up a broom and cleans it out giving them peace and happiness without a doubt

But when they see Her smeared with their own dirt they throw Her out

Is She really the dirtiest of all?

I wonder

Her destiny gives Her granite dynamite rocks and stones

She knocks against them, chisels them, washes them with Her tears

And sends them out into the world as ‘murtis’

Do the murtis’ want to be worshipped? Is that why they turn against Her?

I wonder

The downtrodden and rejected came to her. She loved them and taught them all the arts of life

And established them in the world

Do they want to be recognized? Is that why they reject Her?

I wonder

Before the humble, She is the humblest. They think She is the dust of their feet

Before the proud, She is the proudest. Whom in vain they try to defeat

What is She?, Who is She?

I wonder

To a question She once answered thus Your “I” will thee destroy

And they in their vindictiveness changed the meaning that “Your” did imply

Accusing Ma that She had said I will thee destroy

The same little “I” destroys us all we have not the eyes to see

I wonder if you too can see what I really do perceive

I wonder

Mincing words She does not know and yet She is so gay

She talks of the deepest Gyan in jest and says that Sadhana is a play

If She can’t be serious She can’t a Sadhu be

In life She is so ordinary and with Her love is so free

How then can She the Enlightened One be

I wonder

The first two who called Her Mother, both were very dear

And She tried Her very best that they should eternally be near

The one who broke away was a coward and could not take the blame

Bountiful Love that Ma is, Her entreaties were in vain

Both of them gave Her up and left Her perhaps in pain

One of them blaming Her and the other to save Her own name

Now who is the culprit

I wonder

They hit Her and abused Her and She lay Her head at their feet

They emerged as better people. Is this Her defeat?

I wonder

With everyone crushing Her and surrounded by defame

How can She love and be so gay perhaps She has no name

I wonder

As a child She was a tomboy. In youth She was steel

Negative adjectives She collected so many. Does She even feel?

I wonder

Condemned by Her people rejected by the world

Tell me Milord: Does She have any worth?

I wonder

A woman once came to Her and said ‘Her husband had no heart’

Ma said – keep me as your servant and I will teach you your part

The same woman came again and said a child had gone astray

Ma took the child in Her arms and said I will not betray

And said, I will take the child away and her sins will I bear

And she will become spotless and fairer than the fair

Who else would their troubles share, only She could really dare

They relaxed and were happy and they went their way

When the thought of their reputation did make them sway

Because they were afraid that expose them She may

And so they accused Her of all their wrongs and all their sins at Her head they lay.

Is this Love? Is this Justice?

I wonder

She is condemned and rejected but has nothing to say

And never will until Her last day

People we kicked out, with them She made friends

And we in anger said ‘We will not enter Your abode’.

We will not see Your face and they became our friends

Yet afraid were we that She would betray our bitter words and angry frays

And our new found friends and friendships She would destroy

Can this be the cause why we reject Her?

I wonder

Why are we so contradictory? Is it because She is so ordinary

No, I think it is our Mind that left the Intellect behind

When we put Her under a microscope She disappears each time

What is She we ask ourselves?

We know Her, we don’t know Her. She is a stranger, She is our own.

And yet She eludes us. Is She ourselves?

We wonder

Is She myself?

I wonder

Foolish people come to Her .She out beats them in foolishness

Great Gyanis come to Her. She outshines them in Gyan

And She shows them She loves them both. But they both condemn Her

What is She? Who is She?

I wonder

They called Her egoistic. They called Her vain

They called Her proud to cause Her pain

The more names they called Her, The more She loved them

And the more they humbled Her, The more humble She became

Until they realized their efforts were in vain.

Did they realize?

Their house was breaking up. She came uninvited

And their home She united by taking away their misery and pain

Then they discovered She was insincere, for in their joys She did not appear

Was She insincere?

I wonder

When we are poor She lavishes on us innumerable gifts and kindnesses

When we are rich, She sends us out She must have a motive

I wonder

Now who is the sinner? She who defies conventions

And does not sit on a throne? Or we who go for succour

And endlessly do groan?

I wonder

Judgment

We are thoughtful, we are thinking. What should be Her fate?

We have already considered Her sins up to date

Should we execute, persecute? Should we Her crucify

We want to do something drastic to justify this lie

Gentlemen!

Since I am the judge I will say a prima facie case is ready

She should be condemned and rejected because the reason is very steady

She is not like us nor will She ever be Instead –

She is Absolute Truth, Absolute Love, Absolute Justice

And our brilliant minds cannot comprehend

Her Absolute greatness in Absolute Humility

And therefore, Gentlemen

Because this case is unprecedented

And never with such a trial have I been confronted

I am forced to act without much mercy, without much tact

And, therefore, with due apologies to the law of the land

I am compelled to convict Her as Truth does demand

By sentencing the accused I am very confused

And hence I my judgment give:

Everlasting imprisonment in everybody’s hearts

Must She live!

Case Dismissed

Descended from the Heavens

Or ascended from the core of me

I could not really then decide

What could the Phantom be!!

Through Her Eye, I could view

At least the path for me

A path of Beauty, a path of Love

A path so rich and sublime

Ma leaves her foot prints fair

On the sands of Time

Scientifically does Ma explain

What is mine, can be thine

Thank you enough – I never can

Embodied Soul of all sunshine

Revered Ma, my only Hope

I wish to end as only Thine.

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